I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
