i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
