you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
