no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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