i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
