But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I want to make a zoo with you.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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