I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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