My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
