did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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