were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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