k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
