You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
