I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
