"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
