But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
