so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
