I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
