I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
