so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
