so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize