I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
