Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
