Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
