Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
