Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
