you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
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