We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
