I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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