Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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