I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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