all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
