it hurts more in the daytime
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
