All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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