the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
