why didn't you poke me back
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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