8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
