Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
