I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
