508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
