my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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