Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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