Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
