So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
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