I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
