nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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