Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
