So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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