how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
