D3 body, D1 cock
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
