Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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