Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
