Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Everyone says I win the strip club
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
