hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She bit a glass in half.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
