I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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