I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
