READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
