mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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