To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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