My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
